Letter to an Advisor
Dear Advisor,

I am writing to you because I have this problem. You see, I've been taking this course in Discovering Your Past Powers, and I've discovered that our whole problem really comes from when I was High Priestess in Atlantis and Eddie, my Significant Other, was High Priest, and he was always the spokesperson, which is why I get so frustrated at times.

Well, I won't go into all the intimate details, but we misused our powers and accidentally melted the temple right down to bedrock, which pulled the plug on the rest of the island. It was just meant to be, of course, but it messed up our Karma so much that we had to spend 10,000 years as Crystals in the service of Huwo/manity. (I was a rose quartz and Eddie was an amethyst, which is why I keep telling him he shouldn't use that powdered amethyst toothpaste because it seems too much like cannibalism.)

I also found out that Eddie's dear little rain forest alligator, Tarquin, was our son then, which is why we are so anxious to help him to evolve spiritually, although of course it must have been meant to be that way for him and he chose us for his parents, so it really isn't our fault. Still, we want to help a fellow being, and I hope we can convert him to a vegan diet, which will really evolve him much faster.

Here is a sketch I drew of him—isn't he so spiritual looking! My son Chiron was also involved, but I'm not quite certain how. He may have been the temple goat, which is rather worrying, but I'm certain it's all for the best.

What with being Crystals for so long, Eddie and I rather got out of touch with things and that's why we have to do so many groups and courses and things even though we are both (and Tarquin, too, of course) really High Spiritual Beings. My Spiritual Guide, Herod (who was not the villain the Bible makes out, because he knew all along that he had a special part to play in the Divine Plan and it was all meant to be) says that Eddie and I are learning so fast that we will be Fully Enlightened in a short time. I have ordered a violet robe (which should match my aura) for The Day.

Herod is really a great spiritual master from Betelgeuse, and he says he's pretty sure I can achieve physical immortality in this life if I never stop doing my breathing exercises. I have to do them twenty-four hours a day non-stop. As long as I keep Breathing, he says, I'll be all right.

My question is, what do you think—should Eddie use that amethyst tooth paste or not? And is violet the best color for my robe, or should I go for Cloth of Gold?

May the Great Spirit be with you and may you reach Enlightenment really soon.

Your loving Seeker on the Path,


A reader's reply:

From: "Kerry & klaus"

dear jocasta

before enlightenment
using amethyst toothpaste
son is a goat

after enlightenment

Another reader kindly advises:

From: Larry Squire

Amethyst tooth paste? That's got to be expensive stuff. Do you really need it? Or, could you use the money better elsewhere?
As for the robe, I think you're jumping the gun just a little. When you become Fully Enlightened, you will, in your infinite wisdom know exactly what colour of robe you need.
As for the physical immortality, be careful what you ask for. If you get it, in you will spend a long life losing everyone you know and love, as they age and die. Also, you will need to have a spaceship handy as in a few billion year the sun will run out of hydrogen, swell up and engulf the Earth.
The best advice one can have when dealing with any being, mundane or magical, is take everything they tell you with a big grain of salt. They do not have the same priorities that you do. And some times there is a hidden meaning to what they say. Herod's statement about your breathing exercise sounds facetious to me. He's not lying, but you may be missing the point.
Dragon Master

This is your chance to play spiritual advisor to Jocasta. Write to jesa@jesamac.com and, IF I like your response, I'll happily put it up here, unless you tell me not to (and if you tell me your web page address, I'll put a link to it here as well).

Copyright © 1994 by Jessica Macbeth. All rights reserved.
This originally appeared in Crann Beathadh,
journal of the Order of the Ascending Spirit, 1994