Doing our inner work is a big priority whether we know it or not. If we want to be happy, we must heal our own old fears, jealousies, hurts, resentments — all of that stuff that holds us back. In an inner journey to sit beside the Goddess long ago, I asked her what she wanted from me, and she said, "I want you to let go of all of your defenses." My mind was totally boggled. "But, surely our defenses are what keeps us safe, aren't they?" "No, dear," she said, patting my knee. "The defenses, the fears, the walls, the resentments, the old angers, are what keeps you small and scared and hiding under your blanket instead of being joyful and free and dancing in the world." Quivering deep inside and despairing, I mumbled, "But I can't possibly do this! I don't even know what all of my defenses are!" Patting me again, she smiled and said, "Don't worry about that, dear! We'll be happy to help if you just ask us to!" I don't know what frightened me more — that she would help or that she wouldn't! But in the years since, I've found that she has kept her word, helping me to sometimes realize when I'm being defensive, and then helping me pick up the pieces when I break down one of those old walls. It's remarkable how much more spacious the world is when one of them goes. No doubt there are still more of them to deal with, but at least I now know that I'm better without them and that she will help. This may not sound very important, but it's the biggest task we have in our spiritual development because these defenses make all the other things we need to do much harder, perhaps even impossible.
Copyright © 2019 by Jessica Macbeth. All rights reserved.
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