Growing with Faery Help

Jessica Macbeth

Someone wrote to the discussion group, "In the text for the Unity card, it has this bit: 'Resolution of inner conflict is often necessary before we move ahead. It is important at this time that we work toward cooperation and reconciliation within and without.'"

Yes - and what I didn't mention, but what has been repeatedly pointed out to me since by the fae and by life itself is that it is important that we work at resolving those conflicts most of the time, anyway. Unity is probably just pointing out something especially urgent when that's what is being discussed. Most times we have to resolve the conflict within before we can clear up any conflict with the world around us too.

The questioner continued, "I think I understand the principle, but I'm not sure that I understand the procedure, or even if there is a procedure. I don't think that awareness of an inner conflict is enough to resolve it. When you become aware of a conflict inside you, how do you work toward cooperation and reconciliation?"

Actually, there are lots and lots of procedures! This is what therapists use almost all their techniques for, really. And sometimes awareness of a conflict does resolve it—if it is simple enough and if the person has reached a certain point of readiness. But, for the most part, you're right and simple awareness is not enough.

I use several techniques for approaching these issues in myself or with clients.

One thing helpful is to avoid trying to do big tasks, resolve big issues, in one enormous jump. A good choice is to begin by asking the Oracle, "What is my RIGHT ACTION for the NEXT STEP in resolving this issue?" The capitalized words here are the keys - we only need to know what to do next. First steps first. That next thing might be to actually take a particular action or it might be just getting an insight that takes us further toward resolution. I find the fae very helpful with such things, most of the time. However, sometimes, their advice is to look inside myself for answers.

When they tell me that, I usually meditate and then do some inner journeying or imagery work. A word of shameless self-promotion here: "Sun Over Mountain" is a book I wrote to fully explain how to do inner journeying (sometimes called "shamanic journeying" or other names). It is available through www.Amazon.co.uk and they will post anywhere in the world. It is also available (sometimes) through www.Amazon.com here in the USA. It's too long to explain the technique here, but an example of inner journeying on these pages at:
Meeting Your Guide to Faery

This particular journey is to meet and work with your guide to faery (the 0 Card), but journeys can be created/restructured and travelled for anything.

Sometimes, of course, we get stuck. Really stuck. It seems like the fae can't answer&mdash:or we can't hear. Or we're too wound up about the issue to make sense of an inner journey. One possibility in such a case is to see a professional - a therapist or a spiritual counsellor&mdash:whatever or whoever makes sense. Some people find that a scary idea, but really there is nothing wrong with getting a skilled person to help us with a problem beyond our immediate ability to solve. This is why doctors and lawyers and therapists and psychic readers and ministers and such folk as that exist. Therapists can't do the work for us, but they can help us to find the quickest and best path to clarity and resolution.

Another possibility is to give ourselves a break. Maybe we're just pushing too hard. This one is tricky because it is all too easy to decide that the thing to do is nothing at all when really we do need to continue working. I usually wait for really clear instructions from a respected source before I decide to do take a break from it. Sometimes it is obvious that a rest simply isn't going to happen.

Quite recently I got stuck in such a way, and it didn't feel like putting it all aside was either advisable or possible. And I certainly didn't know what to do next. It happened to be the time to do the things I do at the dark moon, and I thought that process might help (see Sun Magic, Moon Magic for the process itself). But at the end of those three nights, I was really stuck. I sat there in front of my candle feeling pretty desperate about the issue. I knew what the problem was; I just could not think of anything useful to do about it. Then I realized I was feeling a strong urge to draw a card.

Sairie. The Faery Godmother. Grinning at me.

And, very clearly, she said, "Well, make a wish, silly!"

I suddenly knew exactly what to wish for—a desirable, specific resolution of this problem—so I made the wish for exactly that. The funny thing is that I immediately felt much better even though I didn't see any way the wish could possibly come true. NOW I truly had done everything I could do. Before the wish I'd left out the very important step of asking for help. (Am I thick or what?) Up until I'd done that I hadn't really done everything. Now, the problem still exists. And at this point there is nothing I can do about it. It is a big one. But she promised to help. I'm comfortable with that. No more inner conflict about "should I this?" or "shouldn't I that?" It really is out of my hands and I've accepted that. I have no doubt but that, when it is time for me to do something about it again, she'll let me know.

So these are things we can do: ask for advice, look inside for answers, ask for human or Other help. There are a sesquillion techniques out there to help us do these simple things. (Sesquillion is a faery number meaning "more than even a computer could count, partly because new ones keep coming into being.") Keep learning until you have a repertoire of them that work well for you. Each issue has its own unique track to resolution. Finding the flow of that track is the quickest way to get ourselves there. The fae are great at finding obscure paths—the kind that are so obvious once we see them.

Back to Faery Wisdom